Domesticity/Random: 50 things

I just discovered this article of 50 Things Everyone Should Know How to Do, and I decided it's time for me to see just how competent at life I really am, based on those 50 things.  They all appear useful and wonderful, so I'm going on a self-examination discovery in the hopes of upping my self-esteem a bit, since I'm feeling a bit down today.  So, with blatant apologies to the original writers, here is my self-examination based on your list.

1.  Build a Fire – check.  I can do this.

2.  Operate a Computer – check.

3.  Use Google Effectively – check.

4.  Perform CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver – I have a rough idea, but no check.

5.  Drive a Manual Transmission Vehicle – epic FAIL.  My mom tried to teach me once and it ended in tears and swearing me to secrecy that I ever tried to drive my dad's car.

6.  Do Basic Cooking – I own this.  Basic cooking is my thang.

7.  Tell a Story that Captivates People’s Attention – I can totally do it for little kids, does that count?

8.  Win or Avoid a Fistfight – I'll say avoid.

9.  Deliver Bad News – If I can write it, I can do it gracefully.  If I have to speak it, I usually fumble.

10.  Change a Tire – If put to the test, I bet I could.  But I'm not giving you directions on it now.

11.  Handle a Job Interview – I was once told that I interview well, so I'm confident with this one.

12.  Manage Time – I *can* do this.  I just choose not to most of the time. ;)

13.  Speed Read – I'm told I'm a fast reader, but I don't think I can do it like that guy on Criminal Minds who turns a page every 2 seconds or so...

14.  Remember Names – Elementary teacher skill, dear Watson.

15.  Relocate Living Spaces – Living with the husband that I do, it is simple to move.  His family has it down to a science, and my job is to unpack boxes and clean.  Perfection!

16.  Travel Light – Okay, I'll admit it.  Husband and I pack like princesses.

17.  Handle the Police – I've never had to very much, but I do know the first answer is to be polite and tell the utter truth.

18.  Give Driving Directions – I have to do this to tell anyone to get to my house, as it is weirdly situated.

19.  Perform Basic First Aid – I should brush up on this.

20.  Swim – Swimming lessons since I was 10 months old until I was a teen.

21.  Parallel Park – I can do it, but like most drivers, I tend to avoid it unless I have to.

22.  Recognize Personal Alcohol Limits – I have yet to barf from drinking.  And I never will. *pride*

23.  Select Good Produce – Go to Wegman's.  The end.

24.  Handle a Hammer, Axe or Handsaw – I can do all but the axe.

25.  Make a Simple Budget – Our budget is incredibly simple: don't buy what you don't have money for.

26.  Speak at Least Two Common Languages – English? yes.  Francais? oui.

27.  Do Push-Ups and Sit-Ups Properly – *rolls on the floor laughing*

28.  Give a Compliment – Have I mentioned how beautiful your uvula is lately?  No?  Oh, well that's because that would be an improper compliment.

29.  Negotiate – I tell you what: I'll bake you brownies if you do this for me.  Oh, wait, that's bribery.

30.  Listen Carefully to Others – This is a skill that everyone who has met me says I need to work on.

31.  Recite Basic Geography – Another area for improvement.  I can only use the "I'm new to the area" excuse for so long...

32.  Paint a Room – Can do.  But hate.

33.  Make a Short, Informative Public Speech – I liken this to presenting a new concept while teaching.  So I can do it.

34.  Smile for the Camera – This is difficult for me.  I have to recite to myself, "think of something happy, look into the camera lens, and let yourself REALLY smile."

35.  Flirt Without Looking Ridiculous – For me, this should be changed to "do ANYTHING without looking ridiculous."

36. Take Useful Notes – check.

37.  Be a Respectful House Guest – check.

38.  Make a Good First Impression – I have no idea whether I do this or not, but I'll say yes because I'm told I interview well.

39.  Navigate with a Map and Compass – As long as you let me turn the map to orient it in the direction I'm going, I am totally fine with this concept.

40.  Sew a Button onto Clothing – My great-grandma would roll over in her grave if I couldn't do this.  Check.

41.  Hook Up a Basic Home Theater System – I have not done it myself unless you count the system being simply a TV and a DVD player.

42.  Type – Does 56 wpm count?

43.  Protect Personal Identity Information – I am a victim of identity theft.  I have finally picked up all the pieces, but I know one thing: you're sunk if anyone knows your SSN.

44.  Implement Basic Computer Security Best Practices – check.  Please don't test me on this.

45.  Detect a Lie – Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't.  And sometimes I get a false positive.

46.  End a Date Politely Without Making Promises – I'm married, so I proclaim this one obsolete.

47.  Remove a Stain – hairspray works GREAT on ink.  Zout is my method of choice for everything else.

48.  Keep a Clean House – I'm still learning but it's getting there.  It's just SO much work!

49.  Hold a Baby – check.

50.  Jump Start a Car – This needs a refresher course.