For the past few weeks, I have been in a world-class, impressive, sleep-all-day funk that I can't seem to shake. Leaving the house is a monumental task that I can do only with promises of a nap when I get home. Even taking the trash to the dumpster scares me and fills me with an anxiety I cannot begin to describe. But you know what? I'm fighting through it, thanks to the weirdest thing that happened the other night.
That's right. I'm talking about Alex Trebek with a bullhorn. I had Jeopardy! on in the background and was sitting around feeling sorry for myself (not a good mental health practice, to be sure), and then Alex Trebek started giving a clue by using a bullhorn. For the first time in weeks, I laughed, smiled, and even updated my facebook status to "ALEX TREBEK WITH A BULLHORN!!!!!!!" because I was so amused.
Since then, I have been able to stay awake for greater portions of the day, but only with extreme effort. I play with the dogs daily and it brings me joy. But it no longer causes me extreme anxiety to go outside the house other than the extreme heat I encounter (I hate summer). But other than that, I am fine going outside. In fact, I am going to run a passel of errands tomorrow and remain functional. Although one of those errands is to see my psychiatrist to readjust my meds to see if I can get myself even further out of the funk I'm in and maybe start living instead of simply surviving.
Alex Trebek, if you happen to come across this blog, I would be honored to meet you, but only if you bring your bullhorn.